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[kiki]

We can spend our lives, day to day, planning what we're doing for lunch, what we're doing tonight - especially saturday nights. We can plan our lives, our futures, starting from young ages and at important times such as VCE or even passed that stage. What bothers me is that no matter what we plan, there is still the element of the unknown. We don't know if we're going to be hit by a bus today, or if we'll get in a car accident. We don't know that what we're eating doesn't have salmonella until it's too late. We take risks every day, stumbling into the unknown, not aware of the results.
But more so, it's so fucking annoying that people, who don't spend their lives abusing their bodies with drugs, alcohol, unhealthy food etc. yet move on to live full and happy lives. For those that spend their lives living life to the max, getting involved, eating right...generally doing the right thing, and just being an individual and overall likeable character yet they seem to suffer the worse fate.
On saturday morning i found out that a guy i used to go to school with died. It's horrible and depressing, considering he's my age and certainly the least likely candidate for an early death bed. I wasn't great friends with him, in fact we barely shared a word. I knew little about him, and him in general. What I did know was that he had a wad of friends, thicker than you could imagine. He carried a charm and enigma about him that made people automatically like him. I liked him, didn't know him, from completely seperate areas of the social chain, but he was still a very likeable guy. Another thing I knew about him was that he didn;t abuse his body with alcohol, didn't smoke, didn't eat the wrong foods...in fact i distinctly remember learning he hated junk food especially fried foods. He played a lot of sport, in fact he even got a sporting scholarship at a very prestigious school (thus i used to go to school with him).
When he was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer i was shocked, i thought damn...that's the worst luck. He really didn't deserve that. But as any ignorant person would think, i thought, hell he's 17, he'll recover and become one of the greatest people my generation could offer to the world. Without that incident, he still would have made a huge and welcomed contribution to society. But then I found out he died...and shit, was i wrong or what? I mentioned he would have made a contribution to our society, he would have at least been a great father - becoming one for all the right reasons, he would be a great role model to future generations. It's depressing. He's 17, and his life went just...like that. It makes me angry that people who don't take advantage of what we have, and abuse their bodies, are frollicing all over the place - while the sensible ones suffer.
I could sit here all day going over and over...why him? When really this is the element of the unknown. This is a horrific example of the unknown, the role it plays in our lifes. It controls our lives - and we don't even know about it. Cancer can just come, almost as easily as it can go in some cases, at any moment it could return. Unfortunately his diagnosis was late, the cancer was well developed - inoperable, his options were limited - his time limited. It's so fucking annoying that he was only 17 - he lived a life with the mere fundamentals, friends/family/love. He didn't have the chance of every experience available, he didn't get to seize every opportunity. But he had the fundamentals at least.
Death, simply, is the orgasm of life. The ultimate climax. The end. No post-orgasm hug, no post-orgasm goodbyes... just the orgasm, and it's all over. Maybe to start all over again, maybe to continue somewhere else - that's all just another part of the element of the unknown.