This is my first time posting anything on here so I'm just going to release EVERYTHING in a mixed jumble!!!
ok here's the thing, I'm gay and like I come from a Macedonian/Penticostal family. My parents BOTH drive me INSANE, including my mother, and like I'm on the edge of moving out. Anyways my family are VERY homophobic and are AGAINST everything that don't meet with their so called "standards" my parents always think they are "right" because they are christians... when they're at most times not. Anyways, my mum ALWAYS picks fights with me, she finds little things to fight over and she's VERY over-protective and a control freak in other words... a nutjob, a fruit cake. She ALWAYS thinks she's trying to do whats best for me when she's ONLY making things WORSE. She ALWAYS causes problems in the family, not even her own sisters and their children like my mum, she always thinks that they (the other family) always pick on her and cause problems with her for no reason, but the truth is they give her crap because there is a reason, my mum thinks she's better than everyone else, she thinks she's the fuckin innocent and makes everyone the bad one because she's a christian and well a 2 faced hypercritical bitch, she ALWAYS calls me 9 times a day to see where I am, if I tell her I'm with friends and safe, she DEMANDS to know where I am, like wtf? if I was in trouble I would have told her, she thinks the internet has given me a bad influence because I've changed differently towards her, we used to be close, but NOW heeeeeeeell no!!! we don't get a long, we fight because she ALWAYS picks the most stupid reasons to fight over with, for example if I want to go and sleep over a friends place she goes completely pissed off saying that I'll ruin my future and my life and that today we can't trust friends blah blah blah... like wtf? I'm NOT stupid! I know how the world works! just because I'm 17 doesn't mean I'll ruin my life and do something stupid... as I said I'm not DUMB!! anyways this one time I was in hospital and my mum went thru my phone and found a message from a guy and after we were in the car, she started crying and was ANGRY, so she started asking questions if I was gay and I was like no I'm not and she was like "I promise to god and on the holy bible, if you are gay I will deny you as my son, I'll pretend that you never came into this world or that you existed, I rather see you dead than being gay, I would never come to your funeral if you did die, I would want to have ANYTHING to do with you because being gay is an evil spirit from the devil" so basically I kept telling her no no no and it stopped for at least 3 months or something until recently she started to bring it up, about who I'm talking to on the net, asking when I'll get a girlfriend, or if I don't that I'll end up like those poofters, its been goin on for 2 MONTHS NOW!!! she's driving me insane!!! we always have fights now, I've ran away from home a few times because I can't take her shit anymore!!! my best friend and her mum know the whole situation better, but I can't explain it well on here cause I'm not good with explaining much but yeah... anyways like my dad... he's a fuckin 2 faced anger managed minister at a church... he and my mum act so fuckin holy in front of everyone while in behind closed doors they are both retards!!! 2 years ago I ended up in hospital... I had to make an excuse that I starved myself and collapsed... but the truth was this: I came home from the movies, and me and my mum got into a fight because she thought I was hanging with a bad crowd because my personality changed towards her... pfft as if... just because I finally got a new best friend, I had someone to have fun with and she thinks I'm hanging with a bad crowd... I'm not an idiot... anyways we got into a fight and dad got involved and like I wanted to go for a walk but dad wouldn't let me, and I pushed him and my mum out of the way so I can get thru and dad pins me onto the floor and started to hit me repeatedly on the face saying that they dont deserve this and that I'm causing problems... anyways he hit my on my face around the eye REALLY HARD and like he actually caused one of the blood vessles in my eye to burst... anyways I didn't notice I had it til after I woke up during the near night time... I looked in the mirror and saw something... I went into the bathroom for a closer look and saw I had a blood burst... anyways my sister saw it and had a go at my mum but dad was at work and like she blamed it on me... anyways I was feeling sick cause I have a weak stomach for blood and like I was going back to my room when I felt dizzy and blacked out and banged my head on the doorframe and knocked myself out... after being unconcious for 4 hours in hospital... my folks changed the story about what happened... they mentioned we had a fight but didnt mention what my dad do... anyways after a while mum came in and started to beg that I didn't tell the counciler about what REALLY happened... but as time went by... things got worse... dad always picks fights with me too including my mum always blaming everything on me, I'm in the wrong, I'm the bad one, I hang out with the wrong crowd, like this one time at 4am dad come downstairs and into the study and fully went off at me saying that I don't own the computer and like when I watch tv and mum comes down she takes the control and makes a big deal saying that I don't own the tv... like duh.. but still!!! They keep having me trapped... and soon I'm going to break... I had a LOT of problems at school and when I came home I had more crap with my parents... so it really sucked.. anyways my whole family is just fucked! like my mum and her sisters and their daughters don't get along with my mum or my sisters and like its been goin on for 7 years!!! and my family invited both families to my sisters engagement last year and like it was the best mans turn to lead the dance... he's my sisters fiances brother, anyways like my 2 cousins jenny and diana took his hand and led the dance instead... and my mum cut in front of them so they could let go... anyways after that my mum and my family made a BIG deal out of this... they showed the dvd to her brother (my mums brother) and like when he saw it he snapped at them and made a BIG deal out of it thanks to my mum and after 7 years when the family had FINALLY gotten together, my mum and my sisters tore the WHOLE family again once more cause of one stupid thing that I saw no big deal to... anyways like I hate the best man.. he's said something stupid about me and like this one time a few years back my cousin mira's ex steven got into a fight with robert (the best man) and robert was like "don't make me get my mates to kidnap mira and fuckin rape her" like WTF??! they made a BIG deal out of something stupid at the engagement but they don't make a big deal for what he said? compare them both... which is the big deal?! getting someone of your family raped OR intruding by leading the dance that the best man was suppose to lead? its so fuckin messed!! thats what!!! and like we were at this family bbq that marked 3 years since my grandmother died and like my mum said hello to everyone except her sisters and like her sister said to my mum "arn't you going to say hi?" and mum was like "I don't want to know you" and that made things WORSE!!!! because before the bbq a week before was my cousins engagement and like they sort of ignored my mum but who wouldn't? last year when my cousin jenny came over to make peace with my mum... my mum was acting like a fuckin bitch and she said something about her sister saying "I don't want to know her because I'd rather spit on her grave." and that made things again a LOT worse... and like my mum always thinks she's the innocent one... that she's the victem of all of this... while all 3 of them are the fuckin problem... they bring the kids into this and make things even a lot worse... no one can stand my mum... including me... its been going on for 3 years now and I'm fucking close to leave home... I got accepted into NIDA aka National Institute of Dramatic Arts and like its 20 grand for 4years!!! and if I leave home my folks won't support me... even if I did get a job... it won't cover up... because if I leave home I'd need a place to live and pay for rent... and like none of my family wont take me because mum will find out and make thigns a lot worse... and my folks won't support me... but honestly all I can say is FUCK the scholarship... I can't take her crap anymore... she keeps picking fights with me the WHOLE week now!!! If I seriously don't get out I'll fuckin do something to make them suffer! I don't give a shit if I kill myself because I don't want anything to do with this family anymore... they're all a bunch of highcase fuckin drama queens who all need to be shot and re shot!!!! sorry if most of it didnt make sense... its just I cant concerntrate well when I'm stressed and pissed off... I've put on 10 kilos in 1 month thanks to mum being on my back everyday!!!! I'll upload a bit of the video of the part my 2 cousins did at the engagement which made my family make a BIG deal out of it... I saw the dvd for the first time last week and when I saw it what they did I was like is that all? you made a big deal out of that? that little thing? one little thing and all hell breaks loose?!..... fuckin idiots!!! mum has even forbid me to speak to her sisters or their children... if I do speak to them at a family gathering... when I get home I get lectured... my mum was like what makes you think they like you if they dont like me or your sisters? like wtf? I told my cousins that and they were shocked!!! they promised to god its not true because they have nothing against me and I have nothing against them... its just my family who thinks they're too holy is the problem... idiots! I can't even sleep over their place or have any contact with them by phone or email without my family going INSANE!! I want OUT!!! but too scared to face the outside world... because of a certain family member of mine... so if ANYONE has any suggestions pleeeease help me out... I can't take this crap... I just hate my family! I don't even want to be apart of this messed up baboons!!! so yeah... sorry for the long essay type writing... just had to get that off... I have a lot more but I think it's taking up too of your time... til next time... ttyl! thanx for your time.
Jordan
Full Version: I WANT OUT!
Hey man, First and foremost, you're position does suck but you seem like a pretty sensible guy, and to me that made sense but maybe I got it wrong but I think I got the gist of it.
Please remember what follows is just the advise of a fellow 17year old who's never met you and probably doesn't properly understand the situation. So this advise is far from exactly the right course of action, but it's what I'd be doing.
Firstly, go look at ReachOut.com.au, it's a great site for people in positions like you and the people there have far more experience with this sort of thing then I'd expect anyone here to have. I'd also talk to your counselor about your dad hitting you and probably the rest, but only do this if you trust them! If not go and find one you like and you do trust, a counselor is useless if you can't tell them anything. No one deserves to be treated the way your parents have you owe them nothing, sure they brought you into this world and they've supported you to some extent, but from the sounds of it they haven't cared for you and that's one of the biggest obligation's of any parent. So yeah talk to your counciler, perhaps look at getting some legal advise because if I would be in that situation I would definitely want to get out of there.
Also with the course you want to do, is there any other places that offer it with HECS/CSP or have scholarships that you could get more easily. Still aim for the one you want most, but don't see it as the only way to get where you want be
Hope that helped, and I must say again, this is only my advice and really do not go off this alone! Good luck, feel free to get in contact with me if you just want to talk or anything.
Please remember what follows is just the advise of a fellow 17year old who's never met you and probably doesn't properly understand the situation. So this advise is far from exactly the right course of action, but it's what I'd be doing.
Firstly, go look at ReachOut.com.au, it's a great site for people in positions like you and the people there have far more experience with this sort of thing then I'd expect anyone here to have. I'd also talk to your counselor about your dad hitting you and probably the rest, but only do this if you trust them! If not go and find one you like and you do trust, a counselor is useless if you can't tell them anything. No one deserves to be treated the way your parents have you owe them nothing, sure they brought you into this world and they've supported you to some extent, but from the sounds of it they haven't cared for you and that's one of the biggest obligation's of any parent. So yeah talk to your counciler, perhaps look at getting some legal advise because if I would be in that situation I would definitely want to get out of there.
Also with the course you want to do, is there any other places that offer it with HECS/CSP or have scholarships that you could get more easily. Still aim for the one you want most, but don't see it as the only way to get where you want be
Hope that helped, and I must say again, this is only my advice and really do not go off this alone! Good luck, feel free to get in contact with me if you just want to talk or anything.
QUOTE (Fedora.Pirate @ Nov 16 2006, 12:35 PM) 
Hey man, First and foremost, you're position does suck but you seem like a pretty sensible guy, and to me that made sense but maybe I got it wrong but I think I got the gist of it.
Please remember what follows is just the advise of a fellow 17year old who's never met you and probably doesn't properly understand the situation. So this advise is far from exactly the right course of action, but it's what I'd be doing.
Firstly, go look at ReachOut.com.au, it's a great site for people in positions like you and the people there have far more experience with this sort of thing then I'd expect anyone here to have. I'd also talk to your counselor about your dad hitting you and probably the rest, but only do this if you trust them! If not go and find one you like and you do trust, a counselor is useless if you can't tell them anything. No one deserves to be treated the way your parents have you owe them nothing, sure they brought you into this world and they've supported you to some extent, but from the sounds of it they haven't cared for you and that's one of the biggest obligation's of any parent. So yeah talk to your counciler, perhaps look at getting some legal advise because if I would be in that situation I would definitely want to get out of there.
Also with the course you want to do, is there any other places that offer it with HECS/CSP or have scholarships that you could get more easily. Still aim for the one you want most, but don't see it as the only way to get where you want be
Hope that helped, and I must say again, this is only my advice and really do not go off this alone! Good luck, feel free to get in contact with me if you just want to talk or anything.
Please remember what follows is just the advise of a fellow 17year old who's never met you and probably doesn't properly understand the situation. So this advise is far from exactly the right course of action, but it's what I'd be doing.
Firstly, go look at ReachOut.com.au, it's a great site for people in positions like you and the people there have far more experience with this sort of thing then I'd expect anyone here to have. I'd also talk to your counselor about your dad hitting you and probably the rest, but only do this if you trust them! If not go and find one you like and you do trust, a counselor is useless if you can't tell them anything. No one deserves to be treated the way your parents have you owe them nothing, sure they brought you into this world and they've supported you to some extent, but from the sounds of it they haven't cared for you and that's one of the biggest obligation's of any parent. So yeah talk to your counciler, perhaps look at getting some legal advise because if I would be in that situation I would definitely want to get out of there.
Also with the course you want to do, is there any other places that offer it with HECS/CSP or have scholarships that you could get more easily. Still aim for the one you want most, but don't see it as the only way to get where you want be
Hope that helped, and I must say again, this is only my advice and really do not go off this alone! Good luck, feel free to get in contact with me if you just want to talk or anything.
*Daps*
Couldn't have said anything better. Very well done.
Vitamin C:
QUOTE
"I promise to god and on the holy bible, if you are gay I will deny you as my son, I'll pretend that you never came into this world or that you existed, I rather see you dead than being gay, I would never come to your funeral if you did die, I would want to have ANYTHING to do with you because being gay is an evil spirit from the devil"
This alone tells me that though they are your parents, they arnt ready to begin to try an understand who you are, and who you'll become. From here on out you must be responsible for your own actions and strive to arrange your life for your future, a future potentially without them. Do not let them get you upset. Frustration can be used for motivation. They are ignorant, and blind to certain truths of nature. Accept that, and move yourself beyond those borders. Everything that fedora said should help you get started in whatever direction you take.
Good Luck Mandingo
I can see your going through absolute hell! I'm not sure what position you are in but is there another family member you could live with? Me being someone who has dealt with being abused (bashed) my best advice is to get out of the situation or you could possibly apply for a youth allowance and just move out on your own and work part time.
Thats the best advice i can give but i hope that everything will workout for you because you defiantly do not deserve it
Thats the best advice i can give but i hope that everything will workout for you because you defiantly do not deserve it
Hey Mate,
Being a Christian myself, I do know of types like your parents who take stuff in the Bible to far. God put us on this Earth to have our own choices, freewill and be unique. Sin was also brought into this world.. yadayadayada.. I'm sure you have had Genisis drilled into your head several times. Anyway, God loves everyone, and Christians should learn that- that if God loves everyone for who they are, no matter what they do, then they should too. What I can see is that your parents are in some ways evangelist- people who have in some ways taken religion to the extreem. They should learn to accept that everyone has mistakes and that every sin bears the same weight in God's eyes- murder is the same as lying. The thing is- we are all human. We all make mistakes, we all have errors. Even those who say they are 'holy' and have strong faiths in their religions. No one is perfect- It is just the way we are
. By the way, not all Christians think the same way as your parents .
Enough of religious babble, onto the other important stuff- your own well-being. You really need to get yourself out of that mess. I can see that it is hurting you greatly. However, there are lots of places out there that can help you. Finding an adult like a psychologist or counsillor is a good way to let your feelings out in a safe and controlled way. Kids Help Line and Life Line (they both have websites) www.kidshelp.com.au and www.lifeline.com.au . You don't just have the option of talking to them over the phone, there is the email/internet option aswell I think. Also contact your State/Local government and inquire about whether they offer Youth Allowance and other ways of funding kids who are in your position (they can also put you into housing too ). Sometimes it may seem that the government doesnt do much, but they do do some things that can help you . Remember, there are lots of people in this world who care about you so the suicide is not an option- thats a very sad way of avoiding the problem, not solving it. I think that if you continue to stay strong, you can really get yourself out of this. You are almost an adult, don't let anyone destroy any of your chances of leading the life that you want to lead- Who cares if its being gay? Thats the way you are. Those who really care about you and value you will stand by you no matter what you are. Smile and remember, there are lots of people in this world who care about you; those are the people who can help you get through this!!!
As for legal advice, discuss that with a councillor to whether its needed or not. Since we have no expertise in this area, nor the training, we can't really tell you. They should know
Being a Christian myself, I do know of types like your parents who take stuff in the Bible to far. God put us on this Earth to have our own choices, freewill and be unique. Sin was also brought into this world.. yadayadayada.. I'm sure you have had Genisis drilled into your head several times. Anyway, God loves everyone, and Christians should learn that- that if God loves everyone for who they are, no matter what they do, then they should too. What I can see is that your parents are in some ways evangelist- people who have in some ways taken religion to the extreem. They should learn to accept that everyone has mistakes and that every sin bears the same weight in God's eyes- murder is the same as lying. The thing is- we are all human. We all make mistakes, we all have errors. Even those who say they are 'holy' and have strong faiths in their religions. No one is perfect- It is just the way we are
. By the way, not all Christians think the same way as your parents .Enough of religious babble, onto the other important stuff- your own well-being. You really need to get yourself out of that mess. I can see that it is hurting you greatly. However, there are lots of places out there that can help you. Finding an adult like a psychologist or counsillor is a good way to let your feelings out in a safe and controlled way. Kids Help Line and Life Line (they both have websites) www.kidshelp.com.au and www.lifeline.com.au . You don't just have the option of talking to them over the phone, there is the email/internet option aswell I think. Also contact your State/Local government and inquire about whether they offer Youth Allowance and other ways of funding kids who are in your position (they can also put you into housing too
). Sometimes it may seem that the government doesnt do much, but they do do some things that can help you . Remember, there are lots of people in this world who care about you so the suicide is not an option- thats a very sad way of avoiding the problem, not solving it. I think that if you continue to stay strong, you can really get yourself out of this. You are almost an adult, don't let anyone destroy any of your chances of leading the life that you want to lead- Who cares if its being gay? Thats the way you are. Those who really care about you and value you will stand by you no matter what you are. Smile and remember, there are lots of people in this world who care about you; those are the people who can help you get through this!!!As for legal advice, discuss that with a councillor to whether its needed or not. Since we have no expertise in this area, nor the training, we can't really tell you. They should know
QUOTE
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
-Lynne Lavner
That doesn't really help much, I know, but I just needed to say it =)
First and foremost, I decided to paragraph your rant for those whose concentration spans cannot digest all of that. Nothing against you, but I seriously doubt anybody read that through entirely:
And now that I've done that, here's my advice:
Legally emancipate yourself from your parents, and get them to pay support for you. That should cover your living costs and some of your educational costs. Then you can get a job to pay off the rest. It's simple and easy. If you think you can't afford a lawyer, then you have not yet heard of the wonders that are 'probono lawyers', who defend/prosecute for people who have no money. Look them up, and seek their help.
The law is your friend.
QUOTE
ok here's the thing, I'm gay and like I come from a Macedonian/Penticostal family. My parents BOTH drive me INSANE, including my mother, and like I'm on the edge of moving out. Anyways my family are VERY homophobic and are AGAINST everything that don't meet with their so called "standards" my parents always think they are "right" because they are christians... when they're at most times not.
Anyways, my mum ALWAYS picks fights with me, she finds little things to fight over and she's VERY over-protective and a control freak in other words... a nutjob, a fruit cake. She ALWAYS thinks she's trying to do whats best for me when she's ONLY making things WORSE. She ALWAYS causes problems in the family, not even her own sisters and their children like my mum, she always thinks that they (the other family) always pick on her and cause problems with her for no reason, but the truth is they give her crap because there is a reason, my mum thinks she's better than everyone else, she thinks she's the fuckin innocent and makes everyone the bad one because she's a christian and well a 2 faced hypercritical bitch, she ALWAYS calls me 9 times a day to see where I am, if I tell her I'm with friends and safe, she DEMANDS to know where I am, like wtf? if I was in trouble I would have told her, she thinks the internet has given me a bad influence because I've changed differently towards her, we used to be close, but NOW heeeeeeeell no!!! we don't get a long, we fight because she ALWAYS picks the most stupid reasons to fight over with.
for example if I want to go and sleep over a friends place she goes completely pissed off saying that I'll ruin my future and my life and that today we can't trust friends blah blah blah... like wtf? I'm NOT stupid! I know how the world works! just because I'm 17 doesn't mean I'll ruin my life and do something stupid... as I said I'm not DUMB!! anyways this one time I was in hospital and my mum went thru my phone and found a message from a guy and after we were in the car, she started crying and was ANGRY, so she started asking questions if I was gay and I was like no I'm not and she was like "I promise to god and on the holy bible, if you are gay I will deny you as my son, I'll pretend that you never came into this world or that you existed, I rather see you dead than being gay, I would never come to your funeral if you did die, I would want to have ANYTHING to do with you because being gay is an evil spirit from the devil" so basically I kept telling her no no no and it stopped for at least 3 months or something until recently she started to bring it up, about who I'm talking to on the net, asking when I'll get a girlfriend, or if I don't that I'll end up like those poofters, its been goin on for 2 MONTHS NOW!!! she's driving me insane!!! we always have fights now, I've ran away from home a few times because I can't take her shit anymore!!! my best friend and her mum know the whole situation better, but I can't explain it well on here cause I'm not good with explaining much but yeah...
anyways like my dad... he's a fuckin 2 faced anger managed minister at a church... he and my mum act so fuckin holy in front of everyone while in behind closed doors they are both retards!!! 2 years ago I ended up in hospital... I had to make an excuse that I starved myself and collapsed... but the truth was this: I came home from the movies, and me and my mum got into a fight because she thought I was hanging with a bad crowd because my personality changed towards her... pfft as if... just because I finally got a new best friend, I had someone to have fun with and she thinks I'm hanging with a bad crowd... I'm not an idiot... anyways we got into a fight and dad got involved and like I wanted to go for a walk but dad wouldn't let me, and I pushed him and my mum out of the way so I can get thru and dad pins me onto the floor and started to hit me repeatedly on the face saying that they dont deserve this and that I'm causing problems... anyways he hit my on my face around the eye REALLY HARD and like he actually caused one of the blood vessles in my eye to burst... anyways I didn't notice I had it til after I woke up during the near night time... I looked in the mirror and saw something... I went into the bathroom for a closer look and saw I had a blood burst... anyways my sister saw it and had a go at my mum but dad was at work and like she blamed it on me... anyways I was feeling sick cause I have a weak stomach for blood and like I was going back to my room when I felt dizzy and blacked out and banged my head on the doorframe and knocked myself out... after being unconcious for 4 hours in hospital... my folks changed the story about what happened... they mentioned we had a fight but didnt mention what my dad do... anyways after a while mum came in and started to beg that I didn't tell the counciler about what REALLY happened... but as time went by... things got worse... dad always picks fights with me too including my mum always blaming everything on me, I'm in the wrong, I'm the bad one, I hang out with the wrong crowd.
this one time at 4am dad come downstairs and into the study and fully went off at me saying that I don't own the computer and like when I watch tv and mum comes down she takes the control and makes a big deal saying that I don't own the tv... like duh.. but still!!! They keep having me trapped... and soon I'm going to break... I had a LOT of problems at school and when I came home I had more crap with my parents... so it really sucked.. anyways my whole family is just fucked! like my mum and her sisters and their daughters don't get along with my mum or my sisters and like its been goin on for 7 years!!! and my family invited both families to my sisters engagement last year and like it was the best mans turn to lead the dance... he's my sisters fiances brother, anyways like my 2 cousins jenny and diana took his hand and led the dance instead... and my mum cut in front of them so they could let go... anyways after that my mum and my family made a BIG deal out of this... they showed the dvd to her brother (my mums brother) and like when he saw it he snapped at them and made a BIG deal out of it thanks to my mum and after 7 years when the family had FINALLY gotten together, my mum and my sisters tore the WHOLE family again once more cause of one stupid thing that I saw no big deal to... anyways like I hate the best man.. he's said something stupid about me and like this one time a few years back my cousin mira's ex steven got into a fight with robert (the best man) and robert was like "don't make me get my mates to kidnap mira and fuckin rape her" like WTF??! they made a BIG deal out of something stupid at the engagement but they don't make a big deal for what he said? compare them both... which is the big deal?! getting someone of your family raped OR intruding by leading the dance that the best man was suppose to lead? its so fuckin messed!! thats what!!!
and like we were at this family bbq that marked 3 years since my grandmother died and like my mum said hello to everyone except her sisters and like her sister said to my mum "arn't you going to say hi?" and mum was like "I don't want to know you" and that made things WORSE!!!! because before the bbq a week before was my cousins engagement and like they sort of ignored my mum but who wouldn't? last year when my cousin jenny came over to make peace with my mum... my mum was acting like a fuckin bitch and she said something about her sister saying "I don't want to know her because I'd rather spit on her grave." and that made things again a LOT worse...
and like my mum always thinks she's the innocent one... that she's the victem of all of this... while all 3 of them are the fuckin problem... they bring the kids into this and make things even a lot worse... no one can stand my mum... including me... its been going on for 3 years now and
I'm fucking close to leave home... I got accepted into NIDA aka National Institute of Dramatic Arts and like its 20 grand for 4years!!! and if I leave home my folks won't support me... even if I did get a job... it won't cover up... because if I leave home I'd need a place to live and pay for rent... and like none of my family wont take me because mum will find out and make thigns a lot worse... and my folks won't support me... but honestly all I can say is FUCK the scholarship... I can't take her crap anymore... she keeps picking fights with me the WHOLE week now!!! If I seriously don't get out I'll fuckin do something to make them suffer! I don't give a shit if I kill myself because I don't want anything to do with this family anymore... they're all a bunch of highcase fuckin drama queens who all need to be shot and re shot!!!! sorry if most of it didnt make sense... its just I cant concerntrate well when I'm stressed and pissed off... I've put on 10 kilos in 1 month thanks to mum being on my back everyday!!!!
I'll upload a bit of the video of the part my 2 cousins did at the engagement which made my family make a BIG deal out of it... I saw the dvd for the first time last week and when I saw it what they did I was like is that all? you made a big deal out of that? that little thing? one little thing and all hell breaks loose?!..... fuckin idiots!!! mum has even forbid me to speak to her sisters or their children... if I do speak to them at a family gathering... when I get home I get lectured... my mum was like what makes you think they like you if they dont like me or your sisters? like wtf? I told my cousins that and they were shocked!!! they promised to god its not true because they have nothing against me and I have nothing against them... its just my family who thinks they're too holy is the problem... idiots! I can't even sleep over their place or have any contact with them by phone or email without my family going INSANE!!
I want OUT!!! but too scared to face the outside world... because of a certain family member of mine... so if ANYONE has any suggestions pleeeease help me out... I can't take this crap... I just hate my family! I don't even want to be apart of this messed up baboons!!! so yeah... sorry for the long essay type writing... just had to get that off... I have a lot more but I think it's taking up too of your time... til next time... ttyl! thanx for your time.
Anyways, my mum ALWAYS picks fights with me, she finds little things to fight over and she's VERY over-protective and a control freak in other words... a nutjob, a fruit cake. She ALWAYS thinks she's trying to do whats best for me when she's ONLY making things WORSE. She ALWAYS causes problems in the family, not even her own sisters and their children like my mum, she always thinks that they (the other family) always pick on her and cause problems with her for no reason, but the truth is they give her crap because there is a reason, my mum thinks she's better than everyone else, she thinks she's the fuckin innocent and makes everyone the bad one because she's a christian and well a 2 faced hypercritical bitch, she ALWAYS calls me 9 times a day to see where I am, if I tell her I'm with friends and safe, she DEMANDS to know where I am, like wtf? if I was in trouble I would have told her, she thinks the internet has given me a bad influence because I've changed differently towards her, we used to be close, but NOW heeeeeeeell no!!! we don't get a long, we fight because she ALWAYS picks the most stupid reasons to fight over with.
for example if I want to go and sleep over a friends place she goes completely pissed off saying that I'll ruin my future and my life and that today we can't trust friends blah blah blah... like wtf? I'm NOT stupid! I know how the world works! just because I'm 17 doesn't mean I'll ruin my life and do something stupid... as I said I'm not DUMB!! anyways this one time I was in hospital and my mum went thru my phone and found a message from a guy and after we were in the car, she started crying and was ANGRY, so she started asking questions if I was gay and I was like no I'm not and she was like "I promise to god and on the holy bible, if you are gay I will deny you as my son, I'll pretend that you never came into this world or that you existed, I rather see you dead than being gay, I would never come to your funeral if you did die, I would want to have ANYTHING to do with you because being gay is an evil spirit from the devil" so basically I kept telling her no no no and it stopped for at least 3 months or something until recently she started to bring it up, about who I'm talking to on the net, asking when I'll get a girlfriend, or if I don't that I'll end up like those poofters, its been goin on for 2 MONTHS NOW!!! she's driving me insane!!! we always have fights now, I've ran away from home a few times because I can't take her shit anymore!!! my best friend and her mum know the whole situation better, but I can't explain it well on here cause I'm not good with explaining much but yeah...
anyways like my dad... he's a fuckin 2 faced anger managed minister at a church... he and my mum act so fuckin holy in front of everyone while in behind closed doors they are both retards!!! 2 years ago I ended up in hospital... I had to make an excuse that I starved myself and collapsed... but the truth was this: I came home from the movies, and me and my mum got into a fight because she thought I was hanging with a bad crowd because my personality changed towards her... pfft as if... just because I finally got a new best friend, I had someone to have fun with and she thinks I'm hanging with a bad crowd... I'm not an idiot... anyways we got into a fight and dad got involved and like I wanted to go for a walk but dad wouldn't let me, and I pushed him and my mum out of the way so I can get thru and dad pins me onto the floor and started to hit me repeatedly on the face saying that they dont deserve this and that I'm causing problems... anyways he hit my on my face around the eye REALLY HARD and like he actually caused one of the blood vessles in my eye to burst... anyways I didn't notice I had it til after I woke up during the near night time... I looked in the mirror and saw something... I went into the bathroom for a closer look and saw I had a blood burst... anyways my sister saw it and had a go at my mum but dad was at work and like she blamed it on me... anyways I was feeling sick cause I have a weak stomach for blood and like I was going back to my room when I felt dizzy and blacked out and banged my head on the doorframe and knocked myself out... after being unconcious for 4 hours in hospital... my folks changed the story about what happened... they mentioned we had a fight but didnt mention what my dad do... anyways after a while mum came in and started to beg that I didn't tell the counciler about what REALLY happened... but as time went by... things got worse... dad always picks fights with me too including my mum always blaming everything on me, I'm in the wrong, I'm the bad one, I hang out with the wrong crowd.
this one time at 4am dad come downstairs and into the study and fully went off at me saying that I don't own the computer and like when I watch tv and mum comes down she takes the control and makes a big deal saying that I don't own the tv... like duh.. but still!!! They keep having me trapped... and soon I'm going to break... I had a LOT of problems at school and when I came home I had more crap with my parents... so it really sucked.. anyways my whole family is just fucked! like my mum and her sisters and their daughters don't get along with my mum or my sisters and like its been goin on for 7 years!!! and my family invited both families to my sisters engagement last year and like it was the best mans turn to lead the dance... he's my sisters fiances brother, anyways like my 2 cousins jenny and diana took his hand and led the dance instead... and my mum cut in front of them so they could let go... anyways after that my mum and my family made a BIG deal out of this... they showed the dvd to her brother (my mums brother) and like when he saw it he snapped at them and made a BIG deal out of it thanks to my mum and after 7 years when the family had FINALLY gotten together, my mum and my sisters tore the WHOLE family again once more cause of one stupid thing that I saw no big deal to... anyways like I hate the best man.. he's said something stupid about me and like this one time a few years back my cousin mira's ex steven got into a fight with robert (the best man) and robert was like "don't make me get my mates to kidnap mira and fuckin rape her" like WTF??! they made a BIG deal out of something stupid at the engagement but they don't make a big deal for what he said? compare them both... which is the big deal?! getting someone of your family raped OR intruding by leading the dance that the best man was suppose to lead? its so fuckin messed!! thats what!!!
and like we were at this family bbq that marked 3 years since my grandmother died and like my mum said hello to everyone except her sisters and like her sister said to my mum "arn't you going to say hi?" and mum was like "I don't want to know you" and that made things WORSE!!!! because before the bbq a week before was my cousins engagement and like they sort of ignored my mum but who wouldn't? last year when my cousin jenny came over to make peace with my mum... my mum was acting like a fuckin bitch and she said something about her sister saying "I don't want to know her because I'd rather spit on her grave." and that made things again a LOT worse...
and like my mum always thinks she's the innocent one... that she's the victem of all of this... while all 3 of them are the fuckin problem... they bring the kids into this and make things even a lot worse... no one can stand my mum... including me... its been going on for 3 years now and
I'm fucking close to leave home... I got accepted into NIDA aka National Institute of Dramatic Arts and like its 20 grand for 4years!!! and if I leave home my folks won't support me... even if I did get a job... it won't cover up... because if I leave home I'd need a place to live and pay for rent... and like none of my family wont take me because mum will find out and make thigns a lot worse... and my folks won't support me... but honestly all I can say is FUCK the scholarship... I can't take her crap anymore... she keeps picking fights with me the WHOLE week now!!! If I seriously don't get out I'll fuckin do something to make them suffer! I don't give a shit if I kill myself because I don't want anything to do with this family anymore... they're all a bunch of highcase fuckin drama queens who all need to be shot and re shot!!!! sorry if most of it didnt make sense... its just I cant concerntrate well when I'm stressed and pissed off... I've put on 10 kilos in 1 month thanks to mum being on my back everyday!!!!
I'll upload a bit of the video of the part my 2 cousins did at the engagement which made my family make a BIG deal out of it... I saw the dvd for the first time last week and when I saw it what they did I was like is that all? you made a big deal out of that? that little thing? one little thing and all hell breaks loose?!..... fuckin idiots!!! mum has even forbid me to speak to her sisters or their children... if I do speak to them at a family gathering... when I get home I get lectured... my mum was like what makes you think they like you if they dont like me or your sisters? like wtf? I told my cousins that and they were shocked!!! they promised to god its not true because they have nothing against me and I have nothing against them... its just my family who thinks they're too holy is the problem... idiots! I can't even sleep over their place or have any contact with them by phone or email without my family going INSANE!!
I want OUT!!! but too scared to face the outside world... because of a certain family member of mine... so if ANYONE has any suggestions pleeeease help me out... I can't take this crap... I just hate my family! I don't even want to be apart of this messed up baboons!!! so yeah... sorry for the long essay type writing... just had to get that off... I have a lot more but I think it's taking up too of your time... til next time... ttyl! thanx for your time.
And now that I've done that, here's my advice:
Legally emancipate yourself from your parents, and get them to pay support for you. That should cover your living costs and some of your educational costs. Then you can get a job to pay off the rest. It's simple and easy. If you think you can't afford a lawyer, then you have not yet heard of the wonders that are 'probono lawyers', who defend/prosecute for people who have no money. Look them up, and seek their help.
The law is your friend.
Just keep your head up and don't burn your bridges bud, From the parents point of view this kind of thing is emotionally devastating, sure it sucks but there's nothing you can do about that but give it time and hope your relationship will get better, Insanekillas advice is pretty sound, just don't give up on them because at the end of it all if you are proud of who you are, it's your parents that raised and taught you what you know, if you are good person you can only thank your parents for that.
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